Crisis in Progress: Welcome to the Soft Parade


“Suspect took numerous items from Walmart, is preparing to leave on a yellow scooter. Suspect is wearing a lime green t-shirt with a Batman emblem on it.”


“Subjects about to fight. Caller said a male said that a female said she had a gun in a bag. The female also hit the male with a small bat.”

So that makes 2 bat-related runs.

We distinctly heard the sounds of Super Mario in the background of one officer’s transmission. Must have been one of those video-arcade brawls. By the way, Your Humble Narrator and husband used to do the video-arcade crawl on the streets of Columbia, Missouri in the 80’s. Basically, it’s what I did instead of studying. We won’t get into what I did instead of studying the first time around, in the 70’s.

…and, 2 rookie dispatchers were overheard talking about what fun their ridealongs had been. Go ahead, Nick, sell it. Tell me about how you’ll show me a good time. And buy me dinner and stuff.

Time for the Colbert Report, kthnxbye!