Cool But Not Hip
…is my assessment of my personal style. If I were hip, I’d be wearing leggings, or the leggings-inspired pants that make women’s legs look like drumsticks. There is a forest of drumsticks wherever I go.
NEW PRODUCT NEWS
–Courtesy of Stephen Colbert, a workplace toilet that has a 30-degree slant “to cause increased strain on the legs, because long bathroom breaks can decrease workplace productivity.” OR LONG BATHROOM BREAKS CAN BE YOUR ONLY CHANCE TO TAKE A BREATH BY YOURSELF DURING YOUR STRESSFUL WORKDAY, YOU MONSTERS. Just wait until someone sues because the increased strain on the legs gives them arthritis.
In related news, CVS put a mural in their bathroom of poppies, and above them it said, “Choose Joy.” That seemed an odd sentiment in a restroom, and apparently they agreed, because now they’ve painted over that part. The ballpoint-ink exhortation to “Clean Me,” with an arrow pointing to the toilet, was not, however, so easily eliminated. Even though the toilet was long-since cleaned.
This bathroom-themed post is dedicated to Nick, who took me out to lunch in an attempt to induce me to post more frequently, or at all.