Jellyfish, Leggings, Perpetual Motion

by pjmcbride

jelly fish with reflection of blue light

Photo by Magda Ehlers on Pexels.com

When you type “science” into the Free Photo Library, a surprising number of jellyfish pictures come up. Maybe it’s related to that commercial for some type of supplement FOR YOUR BRAINNN, where they say, “based on an ingredient  commonly found in jellyfish!” Well, they are known for their intellectual abilities.

I was at McDonald’s, refilling my drink after picking up my dessert, and I overheard the employees talking–“Did that lady get her pumpkin pie?” “The older lady with glasses? Yeah, I just gave it to her.” So I am now THE OLDER LADY. Nothing like hearing it from people talking about you who don’t realize you can hear them. Rom said, “You could hear them–at least you’re not a deaf old lady.” Ageism has always struck me as the most stupid “ism” there is. You’ll never be black, or female, or whatever other group you think you’re superior to, but you will eventually be old. If everything works out for you.

In other news, I gave the guy at McD’s a $10 bill and 8 pennies for a $5.08 order yesterday, and he looked at me and said, “You gave me a ten dollar bill.” I said, “Yes, just give me five back.” He stared at me, then did as I suggested. Lest you think this sort of thing is limited to McDonald’s, I had the same thing happen at Taco John’s. Apparently the concept of giving change is foreign to the younger generation, because, hey, doesn’t everyone pay with a card? Or their phone? And it’s not like I’m a mathematical genius.

THE WAR ON PARTS OF SPEECH CONTINUES

“At Bayer, this is why we science.” If you’re scientists, you should be smart enough to know that “science” is not a verb.

“Panera’s Warm Grain Bowls are full of good.” GoodNESS. It’s goodNESS.

“This is how happy feels.” HappiNESS. Why is this so hard?

I should probably just give this issue up. Have you noticed I haven’t reminded you that leggings aren’t pants for awhile? {“You haven’t even posted for awhile,” they mutter.} When my dowdy-but-beloved Lands’ End (Serving Midwestern boomers since the 80’s!) features “Leggings for Every Body!” you know we’re doomed. Leggings are not really for every body. You just want to think they are.

Did you know that food commercials didn’t always have to feature the food in question being thrown through the air or through water? Drinks weren’t necessarily shown sloshing over the tops of their glasses, either. We seem to need perpetual motion. Even perfume bottles are often photographed as if the liquid is tilted or bubbling. I’m not sure what all this signifies, BUT IT MUST MEAN SOMETHING.

VOTE FOR ME! I WON’T SEND MY MINIONS TO STORM THE SECURE CONGRESSIONAL CHAMBER JUST BECAUSE I DON’T HAVE AN ACTUAL ARGUMENT TO OPPOSE THEM!

Ahem. When Rudy Giuliani responds to an argument by saying “Shh, shh, shh,” you know they got nuthin’.