RADICAL CENTRIST OBSERVATIONS
Dear Republicans, More tax breaks for corporations is not tax “reform.”
Dear Democrats, Guaranteed income for those who “choose not to work”? Really?!
Out upon you both!
Yes, these thoughts came to mind while I was thinking about doing my taxes. The forms did finally arrive, thanks for asking.
86% CONSERVATIVE CATHOLIC OBSERVATION
…based on an internet quiz I took on Catholicism. With 1 as most liberal and 100 as most conservative, I got 86, which seems about right. Anyway, I found a prayer pamphlet lying around (seriously–it was in the lobby of a medical office building) which included a prayer for the healing of schism, but also a prayer in honor of Reformation Day. What’s wrong with this picture?
Now that I’ve offended a broad spectrum of Americans…
COSMO ASTROLOGY 1988
Beauty for Cancer: “For an interesting look, try perming just one section of hair.” Well, that would be interesting, certainly.
ASTERISK AS FIG LEAF
Speaking of Cosmo, they have decided it’s kicky and young to have article titles like “Sh*t You Should Take on Vacation” and “How to Know You’re Dealing with a F*ck-Boy.” It’s OK, we used an asterisk!
OVERHEARD AT THE NAMELESS CONVENIENCE STORE DOWN THE STREET FROM ME
–“I got chocolate on my shirt. How can I get it out?”
–“Use club soda. It’ll get out anything–chocolate, blood, anything.”
I immediately suspected the second speaker of trying to dispose of a body.