I apologize to anyone who thought there’d be another semi-lyrical perfume review. Yeah, I should have two different blogs. Nah, I’m not going to do it.
DID YOU KNOW?
The restroom at Schnucks has a unique-as-far-as-I-can-tell dual-flush feature. “Pull UP for liquid waste, pull DOWN for solid waste.” But what if it’s both? Or what if you didn’t read the sign on the wall, which is, after all, behind you, and you already flushed and NOW IT’S TOO LATE?!
AND DID YOU KNOW?
I am old and wise enough to remember the history behind the Charmin Soft vs. Strong debate. Originally there was a super-soft toilet paper brand called White Cloud. The Charmin people bought them out, called it Charmin White Cloud for awhile, then changed the name to Charmin Ultra Soft. The original Charmin then became Charmin Ultra Strong. The other TP companies then had to be copycats and make their own two-different-formula claims, saddling us with a false dichotomy ever since. (Now I’m wishing I’d called the post Saddled with a False Dichotomy. But how could I have known I was going to write that phrase?) (No, I’m not going to go back up and change it. You’re lucky I even proofread these things.)
IN NON-BATHROOM NEWS
There was a young couple at the bus stop, in black sweatshirts that said “The King” and “His Queen.” Her Majesty’s nobility was in question, however, for verily, she did spit upon the sidewalk in my presence. Whereupon His Highness peered into her face and inquired, “Is that piercing on your nose still open?”