You’re So Vain…

by pjmcbride

…you probably think this post is about you.

As you may just possibly recall, we left Nick at bay at the White House.

Well, they called me.

“Do you know how to manage this thing? We can’t get close to him. We’ve brought in a couple females, and he just lashes his tail.”

I laughed. “Don’t you know that they mate for life?”

“OK, so then could we get his mate and spray-paint her silver? Mr. Trump wants to know.”

I laughed again. “You can try.”

“Well, the females don’t have wings, right?”

“That’s not what you have to worry about. It’s the claws and teeth.”

“OK, then how do we get rid of this thing?”

I sighed. “Just leave the door open. He’ll get bored and leave.”

So they did, and a little later, there was the expected landing in my yard.

“Um, what did they do to you?”

“Splendid, aren’t I?” Nick flexes his newly-golden wings.

“O Splendid One, your magnificence overwhelms me.”

“Really? You’re not being sarcastic?”

“Of course not.”

“Good.”

“I see where the paint is flaking off, though.”

“You do?”

“Yes. Oh well, it wasn’t very tactical anyway.”

IS NOT THE ABOVE A PRIZE EXAMPLE OF SOMETHING NO ONE WOULD UNDERSTAND WHO HADN’T BEEN READING THIS BLOG ALREADY?

Yeah, I’m drunk.

NOTE ON RAZOR PACKAGING:

“This is not a toy.” C’mon, Nick, let’s play!