It Was a Very Good Year

by pjmcbride


Narcissistic Trip for Taurus: “Polish bowls, glasses with cloths steamed over lily-of-the-valley perfume dropped into boiling water.” Why does my narcissistic trip involve housework? Also, temperature extremes damage perfume, so don’t try this at home.

Monthly forecast for Taurus for May: “Hair, teeth, face–all are lovelier-looking now.” I don’t remember my teeth suddenly getting better-looking that month. Maybe I went to the dentist.

And for June: “If your beau’s married and can’t get a divorce, it may happen this summer.” Because your beau being married to someone else is just one of those things.

Gemini’s Fantasy Turn-On Trip: “You are the recipient of an intimate massage by a dozen disembodied hands.” Yikes!

Pisces’ Narcissistic Trip: “Put an orange studded with cloves over head of your shower so the water falls over the orange and you.”

Pisces’ Aphrodisiac: “Cloves, stuck in an orange for 24 hours, then slice and drink the juice.” Just recycle the orange you used in the shower.

Pisces’ Fantasy Turn-On Trip: “A group bath in underwater caves, with your dearest friends all singing.” I guess in a fantasy, people can sing underwater.