Social Page: End of Summer at Nick’s

by pjmcbride

Note: We will indulge the parents in the audience, who think it’s the end of summer now just because they have to send their kids back to school. My boomer associates will know that school should actually begin in early September.

I was solemnly invited to Nick’s for the birthday party of his youngest child (hereafter referred to as Thing 2). Since this was also celebrating the End Of Summer As We Know It, I brought apple ale.


–Watching Nick clean stuff up before the party, which involved a lot of bending over. His clothes at this point were paint-splattered, or maybe he’d been attacked by a flock of birds with diarrhea. He then changed into a fresh pair of horrific cargo shorts and his “Sexy Bald Guy” t-shirt, so we’d all know he’s sexy without having to try him out for ourselves.

==Ants helping clean up the deck (if any such thing constructed on flat ground can be called a “deck”) by dragging away a dead cricket and a dead moth, calling for reinforcements as necessary.

–Nick unintentionally setting off a diplomatic crisis by putting Thing 2’s Captain America mask on a little girl. The Birthday Boy (who turns 4 on Wednesday) promptly marched over and announced, “You don’t look like Captain America!” and drew back his fist. Onlookers held their collective breath–we could hear the gears grinding as he thought, “I’ll be in really big trouble if I punch her in the face.” He finally grabbed his Capt. America shield, withdrew to the bouncy house, and jumped up and down while shouting, “I’m Captain America! I’m Captain America!” Which is of course what every one of us wants to do at our own birthday party.

–I drank 2 cans of hard ale, which rendered me unable to respond to Nick’s cruel jabs. He did not enjoy this situation as much as one might expect. Because I am an uncool drunk, I was unsteady on my feet, causing those sitting near me to say, “Are you OK?” Sure, it was hard ale, but still, I basically drank 2 beers. Good thing I don’t drive.

Oh, and thanks to the person from Germany who has read 39 posts!