Day 20: Guess Who’s Back, Back Again
Shady’s back, tell a friend! Anyone who’s thinking, But you’re hardly “slim” these days, keep it to yourself. This also applies to those who do not, in fact, want to tell a friend, and have no plans to do so.
Speaking of friends, Nick is so upset about my imminent retirement that he’ll be going to Alabama to eat weevils instead. (He can consume millions of tons of weevils in the course of a year.) But now that 3rd shift Motor Patrol has BANNED RIDEALONGS, I’m safe and sound!
Intermission to swathe myself with Security Blanket–
CRISIS IN PROGRESS: WHY DON’T I JUST TATTOO “REALLY?!” ON MY CHEST ALREADY?
We had a vehicle pursuit, and the state police backed our officers up. While this was going on, a guy called 911 and said, “You got a trooper speeding up 41 and his blue lights are so bright they’re blinding! He’s gonna cause a bunch of wrecks! Ya hear me?” and hung up. I was going to call him back and give him a piece of my mind (scarce and therefore valuable!), but his phone was out of service and could only waste the time of 911. By the way, it does no good to call 911 to complain about a state trooper. We don’t dispatch them. And don’t tell me “You got–” or “You need to get out here–” because, you know, I’m not the one going. Ya hear me?
THE QUESTION ARISES….
–What will happen to Nick the beast when I retire? Will he be retired? Passed on to another handler? Euthanized?