Old Enough To Know Better? You Be the Judge.
When I was a child, I thought you turned old at 60. So I have a year left. Actually, I don’t change ages until 7:25AM, but if you think that’s a good time to call and wish me a happy birthday, think again. Rom tried it the morning after we met, but our hostess, who’d known me since high school, knew better than to give me the phone.
I am considering changing the title of this blog to: THE OPINIONS EXPRESSED HEREIN ARE STRICTLY MY OWN AND DO NOT REFLECT THE POLICIES OR OPINIONS OF THE CITY. But you knew that. Actually, I make a certain amount of this stuff up. Except the part about Nick having scales and a tail. That’s actually true.
CRISIS IN PROGRESS: INTO THE VORTEX
–On a shots fired run, a woman said, “I heard a shot!” Then, caught up in the excitement of the moment, she said, “I heard another one! Oh no, they’re coming closer!” and hung up. I then pronounced this phenomenon a “Shots-Nado,” a term which I plan to trademark, since it’s too late to trademark “Solid Sheet of Ice.”
THIS IS A CASE FOR THE FASHION POLICE
–“Subject has red and yellow hair, and is wearing a yellow and red shirt, and chaps.”
I’LL BURN THAT BRIDGE WHEN I COME TO IT
Question on Diary of a Mad Dispatcher: “Asking for advice–When you people post on the Internet, what steps do you take to make sure you stay anonymous?” Um, none?