Bless the Beasts and Children

by pjmcbride

Have we had enough weather yet?

Having visited the den of the Beast now in daylight, I have two observations:

–The older cub, SUPER MARIO by name, obviously must have super powers. However, the only one in evidence so far is the ability to whip off his pants in record time. His father is allergic to shirts, so he must have inherited the tendency, although a pants allergy is more problematic, and even more to be feared.

–Nick keeps, in the swamp that is his backyard, an ARMY OF FROGS ready to do his bidding, and, you know, plague people and stuff. They did this by being so damn loud they hurt our ears. (I keep a fleet of trains in my backyard for the same purpose.) I understand he communes with these frogs by throwing off his shirt and wallowing in the ooze, and then gets in trouble for tracking mud in the house.

Actually, I have a third observation: If I’d known it was a cookout, I wouldn’t have dressed up.