We Wish You a Merry Textmas, and a Drunken New Year

by pjmcbride

Overheard on the bus: “Well, just tell her the whole thing. Keep sending her text after text after text.”

“But the dumbass took the whole holiday week off.”

“But she’ll have all those messages waiting when she comes back.”

There’s the spirit–holiday harassment. “911? I just came back to work, and someone left me a bunch of threatening texts.”

Ad over the speaker at Walgreen’s: “Shop our selection of wine and beer! You’ll find something to make everybody happy.” Give me enough apple ale, and I’ll certainly be happy. Perhaps too happy.

Speaking of which, I was looking at an article about fashion for holiday parties (because, you know, I have such a hectic round of those), and I thought, as I always think–Sleeveless? Strapless? Backless? Don’t these people understand that Christmas and New Year’s are in winter? Maybe that’s where the beer and wine come in.

Today’s illustration was chosen for its caption–“A windmill of unknown origin and purpose.” Uh, isn’t the purpose of a windmill known and unvarying? Correct me if I’m wrong here. Go ahead, I dare you.

English: A "Windy Thing" With Van A ...

English: A “Windy Thing” With Van A windmill of unknown origin and purpose beside the A684 near Bainbridge. The phrase “Windy Thing” was overheard locally. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)