I Only Came To Say I Must Be Going

by pjmcbride

Groucho Marx 1890-1977

Groucho Marx 1890-1977 (Photo credit: twm1340)

…which is an old Groucho Marx line. (Of course, any Groucho Marx line is old.)

After the last post, someone asked, “So you’re applying for supervisor?” NO. I AM NOT. That post was in the same spirit as Stephen Colbert running for President, except that I’ve been doing this longer than he has. When they asked me once, in the beginning when Dispatch was created, if I would consider it, I saw no reason why I’d want to leave a union job. And I see less reason to leave it now, in spite of the intoxicating power over other people it would involve. I might say I would only do it at gunpoint, but I’ve never had a gun pointed at me, so I don’t know how motivational that would be. I suspect they would not only have to point a gun at me initially, but station someone out here to keep pointing it at me. I’m sure that would be Nick’s dream assignment, but, as the old saying goes, you can’t always get what you want (old Mick Jagger line).


–Someone was driving down the street pointing a taser at other drivers. I wouldn’t know a taser if I saw one. (What did I say, Nick? NO EXPERIMENTS. I mean it.)

–A little boy called 911 to complain that McDonald’s gave him the girls’ toy instead of the boys’ toy. Sure, it’s cute, until he grows to be a man and still calls 911 if they screw up his order.

–The first 8 calls today were pocket dials. WHY? WHY DOES IT NEVER STOP? If you knew your tax dollars had to be spent on hiring another 911 operator to handle this extra volume of non-calls, WOULD YOU FINALLY LOCK YOUR KEYPADS? Or would that be JUST TOO MUCH TO ASK OF YOU?

It’s only 1853, but surely the Run of the Night Award will go to…

…”Subjects trapped a beaver on their property. The beaver escaped and is chasing them around the yard.”