P.S.: More Crises
I knew if I posted from work, I’d have to add to it later. So why did I do it? Anyway, here’s what happened after I published. (And yes, Nick, you have to show Reid this post, too, if the Internet still exists that far in the future.)
A 10-year-old left home with her younger siblings, stole a stroller from a neighbor’s yard, took it to Babies-R-Us, and stole a breast pump from there.
–A RECKLESS DRIVER DEPUTIES WON’T LOOK FOR!
A white passenger car headed westbound on the highway, with the white male driver vomiting down the side of the car. In the words of Eminem, ew ew ew ew.
…And if I didn’t have to eat dinner now, I’d treat you to a new song, “Thieves in Pink Tank Tops,” to the tune of “Nights in White Satin.” You’re welcome.
…Annd, you know your tetanus booster is working when it feels like 3-4 yellow jackets stung you in the same spot on your arm. So I called in sick with a mild case of tetanus. Hey, it was the first sick day I’ve taken this year, so ALL OF YOU JUST SHUT UP!