Theater of Cruelty: Mistakes Were Made

by pjmcbride

You may be wondering why I called you here today (the specific reason, I mean–the general reason is that writers gotta write, I guess). Well, that would be because, um, {jamming hands in pockets and staring at the floor}, Nick, my good friend (right?) and co-worker (that, at least, is incontrovertible), insisted on it. This noble beast, who has suffered so much at my hands these past months, was given a run tonight that should have been given to another officer. That wasn’t the worst of it. That, in itself, was a mistake that was easy to make, since our car numbers are confusing and our computer software annoying.

(Digression: And why must this be so? When I started, we used numbers like “Car 1” and “Car 17.” [Amusingly, there was no Car 13, which would have presumably been bad luck for somebody.] When we became computerized, they came up with these lengthy and convoluted numbers, like 2W210. “How else,” They said, “will we know which department is indicated?” Well, maybe by the radio channel they’re on? “And how else,” They continued, ignoring my objections, “will we know which shift is indicated?” Well, by what time of day it is, I’m guessing. End of digression.}

But I digress. (As indicated above.) The real problem was {I continue, brushing off a spider–or something–I have the lights off in here–that was crawling on my hand} that, although I realized I’d made a mistake right after having done so, I did not correct the mistake, tell Nick to disregard, and send the other officer. No, I let him go ahead on, and take a harassment report unnecessarily (unaware that he was himself being harassed). And why? To preserve the myth of dispatcher infallibility. Yes, up until this  moment, officers believed that we were  perfect, although the 911-calling public could have told them differently. So, not only were mistakes made, there was also a cover-up!

At any rate, I eventually felt guilty and apologized to the thus-overworked Nick via private message, but he, seizing the opportunity in his pointed teeth, stated that he would accept nothing less than a public (well, semi-public–my readership is small and select) apology here. So here you are, and I have a sneaking suspicion you’ve been staying up waiting to read it.

Other stuff:

–Officer’s disposition on a run: “I removed the pillows from the traffic lane.” Nothing like a relaxing nap on the expressway.

–Man with a gun run: “Suspect is in a red van with “For Sale” on the side.” Buy my van or I’ll shoot!

Remember I said someone brought a bag of corn in to Dispatch? Tonight I saw four more bags. How is this happening?

Channel 66.6 HM Haunted Radio

Channel 66.6 HM Haunted Radio (Photo credit: Wikipedia)