As Long As I Have Your Attention:
A couple quick observations:
I was excited to see that a suspect was “armed with a gold club,” (classy!), until I found out it was a typo and should have been “golf club.” Then the caller got into an argument with him about whether it was really a golf club or actually a ball bat.
Saying “I am a victim!” 50 times does not improve police response.
The call I wished was my last one of the shift:
“My son won’t let me use the bathroom nearest to the bedroom. He wants me to use the one downstairs, and he won’t even turn the lights on. It’s a power struggle. He’s 14 years old, but he’s a big boy.” I wished it was my last call, because there’s no way to top it. It wins the Gold Club Award.