Ashes, Ashes, We All Fall Down

by pjmcbride

…because summer’s here, and the time is right for fainting in the street.

–Fashion question asked before leaving the house–“Is this skull T-shirt age-appropriate?” Answer: YES, because I’m that much closer to death! The real question is, “Is it work-appropriate?” but the answer is pretty much the same. I did realize that I no longer own anything suitable for appearing in court. (“Why?” Nick inquires brightly. “Bail hearing coming up?”) I’ve actually only had to testify once, and my testimony consisted of answering the question, “Is the handwriting on this run card yours?” in the affirmative. It was a reckless driving case, which the juvenile defendant’s rich father actually thought was worth going to trial over.

Sign in Thornton’s: “Win an ice machine that makes Thornton’s-style ice nuggets!” Now there is the secret to popularity, even more than having a pool. “Wanna come over to my place? I’ve got ice like they have at Thornton’s!” Seriously, their ice is cool. (Hard though it is to believe, that pun was unintentional, but I don’t intend to remove it.)

As a permanent pedestrian, I am an expert on public restrooms. I must report that the new Phillips 66 convenience store has a unique feature–side-by-side men’s and women’s facilities in a single room. Rom and I could take a leak side by side, which is something we can’t even do at home! My folks once bought a house that had 2 toilets side-by-side in the master bathroom. My mother asked, “Do they think we’ll sit there holding hands?” Even cooler, they were black toilets, to match the black sink!

OK, I’m betting that’s all you want to know about convenience stores and my bathroom habits.

But too bad! Because when I hear my co-worker asking a caller, “So he’s not wearing any clothes?” you need to know! This guy was taking a shower in his back yard. In broad daylight. Reminds me of when we had our bathroom remodeled. Let’s just say that this requires your water to be turned off for a day or more. So I, too, have showered in my back yard, although I did it after dark. Let’s also say it involves your toilet sitting in your front yard for a day, and leave it at that.


Fainting (Photo credit: Wikipedia)