Selected Short Subjects

by pjmcbride

OFFUTT AIR FORCE BASE, Neb. -- Bellevue Office...

OFFUTT AIR FORCE BASE, Neb. — Bellevue Officer Jim Bartley, gets pounced on by Leda, a Lavista Police Dog, during a routine joint training with Offutt handlers and military working dogs on April 10. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I had a longer post planned, but I think I’ll save it for Sunday. Yeah, you’re thinking, “You haven’t posted for days, but now you toss us scraps?” I know, I know. Simmer down.

Nick paid us a brief visit at Dispatch the other day, accompanied by his new beard. They seemed quite happy together, although his beard owed a lot to the pioneering work of Officer M.K.’s beard. Nick was prowling about the room like a police dog. It made me a bit nervous, having him off the leash like that, but he stayed out of reach, so no one got hurt.

Speaking of pets, I was looking at plants outside the Pet Food Center (hoping in vain for something that doesn’t need sun, since our yard is a no-sun zone, and that’s the way I like it), and saw something called “tickseed.” Wonder how long it takes once you plant it to get a bumper crop of ticks.

I saw an article about how Facebook makes people unhappy, because everyone else seems to have a better life than you do. I thought, Yeah, if you’re that insecure. Until I noticed that I currently have 60 Facebook friends (the number is padded by my numerous and aggressive in-laws, and the numerous and aggressive police department)–and that one of those friends has 384 Facebook friends, and yet another has 853. So now you (by which I mean me) can quantify exactly how unpopular you are.

Speaking of friends (it’s Segue City around here!), if someone were to buy me a Mustang for my birthday, I’d learn to drive. I realize this might be short notice, since there are only 2 1/2 shopping weeks left, but I have no idea how long it takes to buy a car. OK, now I know you’re all jostling each other to say, “Yeah, but you wouldn’t be able to unlock the door!”