Repressing the Irrepressible
Remember when I offered helpful tips for officers?
Avoid, when given a run,
“Clear, from Barker & Ray Becker,” in huffy annoyed tone. I very nearly answered, “Barker and Ray Becker? I’ve been there quite a bit myself.” And nearly got barred from that convenience store, too.
Anyway, my supervisor and blog-follower muttered, “He didn’t get your memo.” Well, that would be because this blog is not required reading for officers. And shouldn’t it be? Besides being entertaining and informative, it would boost my readership out here in Free Contentland (there’s a good blog title!) by 10x!(Free Contentland is made possible by the fact that writers write because they have to, so you don’t even have to give them money. This is an Inescapable Fact. I know this because I’ve tried to escape it for years.) And I suck (to use a technical term) at self-promotion, so mandatory readership is the only solution.
“But–but” you all are clamoring (or at least I think you are, it might just be voices in my head), “tell us how you almost got barred from a convenience store! You’re so quiet and well-behaved, we can’t imagine such a thing happening!” Well, that would be because the convenience store soda machine at Barker/Becker was ancient and usually produced flat soft drinks, so I got in the habit of running just a bit into my cup and tasting it to see if it was OK before I would buy it, and they told me to quit that. They did eventually fix it, so shop with confidence.
Memo to the guy in the white pickup at Franklin & St Joe yesterday: Before you floor it to whip around that corner, CHECK TO BE SURE THERE’S NO ONE IN THE CROSSWALK, KTHXBYE! If you had hit me, Nick would have been the investigating officer, and he would have cried.
I haven’t been posting that often lately (see Ideas, Shortage Of). Peaked early, didn’t I? Good thing this isn’t my job! But I have a topic for tomorrow that promises to be entertaining and informative and stuff, so stay tuned!