April and Various Kinds of Fools

by pjmcbride

I haz April Foolz lolcats. Intended for use on...

I haz April Foolz lolcats. Intended for use on an April Fool’s page. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I am not applying for the supervisor position, no matter what Nick tries to tell you. He’s easily confused, you know. (And long-suffering, I have to add.) And I was unclear, and therefore confusing, so it was an April Fool’s fail. He also told me I’m “unsupervisable,” and I believe my husband would concur.

Whenever a supervisory slot opens up, if I’m momentarily tempted, I only have to remember how I felt during my brief stint as union steward. How I felt was, put-upon and incompetent. And I’m confident I could bring those attributes to any position of leadership, and I think They know it too. But what They could do is have me write a job description for the position. Here’s what I have so far:

Position: –between a rock and a hard place

Hours: –lengthy, yet erratic, with an element of unpredictability. Must be able to work any shift, including ones we haven’t invented yet.

Abilities: Must be able to force people to work overtime without saying “Bwahaha!” Must be able to communicate with our natural enemies in the media, and also talk to callers who have been driven into a rage by the dispatcher they already talked to. Must attempt to exercise authority over a bunch of control freaks, and good luck with that.

Well, that’s just a rough draft. Written by someone who stayed up too late last night doing, well, it’s none of your business what I was doing, and then was awakened too early by the person I’d been doing it with, just because I had to get ready for work or something.

In the barely-related crime-statistics department, I must ask: Has a car alarm ever prevented a vehicle from being stolen? Or is its sole purpose to annoy the neighbors?

In our next episode, I write a dress code for the department! Unless They say, “We can’t get anyone to apply for the supervisor position because of that blogger!” and silence me. Don’t try sending Nick to my door. He is an inquisitive beast and fascinated by bright shiny objects, but he can also be scared away by sudden loud noises.