Crisis in Progress: Location, Location, Location

by pjmcbride

First, a foray into FanBase Follies territory: To a Certain Person who took advantage of my trusting nature to impersonate me on Facebook–it’s all fun until someone loses an eye. And that happens when I come in the next day and poke it out. I might be in a hurry to leave work, but you’re laggard about coming in to work, so we’re even.

On to the subject (more or less) of today’s post. When you call 911, the most important information we need is your location. And just dialing 911 will not reliably give it to us. You need to help us out. You want to steer a middle ground between the overly-conscientious souls who give us everything unto the zip code thereof, and just yelling “318 Shannon Glen! Shannon Glen apartments!” An apartment complex ain’t an address.

Crisis in Progress Creative Language Award goes to:

–911 caller: “He’s running around like a crazy person. They need to have him cemented.”
–Your Humble Narrator: “…have him what?”
–Caller: “Cemented. He needs to be cemented.”
…I suppose a strategic use of cement would keep one from running around like a crazy person, or any other kind of person.

Crisis in Progress Drama King Award goes to the guy who called and said:
“There’s been a suicide.” (Dramatic Pause) “I’m the victim.”

Time to go find some soothing music to listen to. (I’m not really sure I own any.) Between stalking Nick and shunning Lisa, I have my hands full.