Crisis in Progress: Location, Location, Location
by pjmcbride
First, a foray into FanBase Follies territory: To a Certain Person who took advantage of my trusting nature to impersonate me on Facebook–it’s all fun until someone loses an eye. And that happens when I come in the next day and poke it out. I might be in a hurry to leave work, but you’re laggard about coming in to work, so we’re even.
On to the subject (more or less) of today’s post. When you call 911, the most important information we need is your location. And just dialing 911 will not reliably give it to us. You need to help us out. You want to steer a middle ground between the overly-conscientious souls who give us everything unto the zip code thereof, and just yelling “318 Shannon Glen! Shannon Glen apartments!” An apartment complex ain’t an address.
Crisis in Progress Creative Language Award goes to:
–911 caller: “He’s running around like a crazy person. They need to have him cemented.”
–Your Humble Narrator: “…have him what?”
–Caller: “Cemented. He needs to be cemented.”
…I suppose a strategic use of cement would keep one from running around like a crazy person, or any other kind of person.
Crisis in Progress Drama King Award goes to the guy who called and said:
“There’s been a suicide.” (Dramatic Pause) “I’m the victim.”
Time to go find some soothing music to listen to. (I’m not really sure I own any.) Between stalking Nick and shunning Lisa, I have my hands full.
Cemented got so stuck in my mind that I could not think of what the term actually should have been…but now I remember. I need to be committed! As true today as it ever was. I would have a difficult time not responding to dramatic callers that have nothing dramatic to call about with sarcasm and phrases that would drip with disdain. And frankly, now I’m surprised that you can control yourself.
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Hey, we’re hiring now! Seriously. I think anyone in your extended family would be qualified.
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I had a call in the last couple weeks where a male said that there was a 17 year old there who was tearing up the house and needed to go to YCC. I asked for the subject’s name and the caller gave it to me. Then when I asked for the callers name he says, “It’s me. I am the one tearing up the house.” Honestly didn’t see it coming at all!
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I’d have been surprised too.
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to all the drama kings & queens i have encountered at this job, it takes serious effort to not reply (dramatic pause & sarcastic tone), “OKAY, daytime emmy.”
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And we have evening Emmys and nighttime Emmys, too. “Best Dramatic Performance Under the Influence of Alcohol.”
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