Crisis in Progress and Unrelated Objects

by pjmcbride

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I know you’re not supposed to tell people your dreams, but I’m in charge here, so you’ll read this and like it, got that? I dreamed I had a cat embedded in my head. That’s right, an actual cat in my actual head.

Speaking of readers: To anyone reading these things who doesn’t know me personally (hey, it’s theoretically possible), who notices that many of these posts have no comments–they mostly comment on Facebook, which you may have heard of. I’m not just talking to myself here, it only looks like it.

On to our ongoing crisis:

Officer of the Day yesterday (Officer of the Previous Day?) Award goes to poor pitiful Nick, who volunteered to work 3rd shift after already working 2nd shift. I slept better knowing there was a sleep-deprived man with a gun driving around out there.

I’m going to stop everybody I see on the street (and since I walk the streets a lot–stop snickering–I see a lot of people) and say STOP GIVING YOUR OLD CELL PHONE TO YOUR SMALL CHILD TO PLAY WITH! THEY CALL 911 ALL THE TIME! I was treated to one such call tonight where Mom was congratulating said child on having pooped. “You pooped!” I’m honored that I could be part of this special moment with your family.