Crisis in Progress: Technical Terms
by pjmcbride
Disclaimer: In view of a current Indiana court case involving a blogger–This blog is for entertainment purposes only. Not for, say, scaring-people purposes, and certainly not for contempt-of-court purposes.
Terms used in 911 calls:
“Actin’ a fool”: covers a lot of ground, really. I actually have a certain fondness for “actin’ a fool” (the expression, I mean, not actin’ one myself). I was impressed when a woman called in describing a person as “actin’ the biggest fool in town.”
“Clownin'”: like actin’ a fool, it lacks specificity. It has never been established whether it is, in fact, synonymous with actin’ a fool. Clownin’ has never been known to involve an actual clown, but wouldn’t it be great if it did?
“Putting his/her hands on me”: in theory, once again, unacceptably vague. In practice, however, it usually involves behavior (pinching, poking, shoving) that shouldn’t really be an assault charge, but the caller thinks it should be.
“Verbal abuse/violence”: Seriously? Remember what sticks and stones (and hammers, and Thanksgiving serving forks) can do, vs. what words can do. “Terroristic threatening,” on the other hand, really is/was an actual charge in Kentucky. (I know this from my previous job purging court records in Columbia, Missouri, where I worked after dropping out of journalism school.) (There’s no end to my educational fails, is there?) You might be a Kentuckian if…
“Baby daddy/momma”: makes me think, So how’s that sexual revolution working out for you?
“I just know.”: the invariable response when you ask how the caller knows there are drugs in the house.
“Friend”: as in “my friend beat me up/took my money/terroristically threatened me” etc. News flash: that’s not your friend.
I may think of more of these later (probably when I’m trying to sleep), but these will have to do for now.
“Putting your hands on someone” can certainly fall in the range of reportable battery. I feel it is my civic duty to expound upon your rather narrow view of a problem faced by many inarticulate battery victims. One’s hands can be put upon someone to the point of injury. This expression does, however, prove insufficient when dealing with an SBI or aggravated battery. Thank you.
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Oh, you’re welcome.
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